Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!

The New York Times ran an article today questioning whether or not moderate alcohol use actually does lead to a longer life. The gist was that A) there has never been a causal study linking a couple belts a day to increased longevity and B) maybe it's not that two glasses of wine a day makes you healthy, it's that healthy people limit themselves to two glasses of wine.

After stating this, the article weaves around in a weird chicken-or-the-egg quandary that reminded me of Wallace Shawn's iocane powder bit in Princess Bride:



It also skirts the potential cancer-related benefits of resveratrol, a polyphenol found in red wine.

Either way, if reading this article is going to make you give up moderate hooch consumption for good, you're probably either incredibly uptight or nervous and therefore destined to kick it from hypertension at a young age anyway. So, you know, just relax a little.