Anatomy of a b***s*** nutritional study press release.

Most of you nutrition junkies probably notice that every couple of years, a study pops up blabbing about the latest breakthrough miracle food. It's always some fruit, nut or veggie that's been overlooked for hundreds of years and will now revolutionize eating as we know it.

Marketers fill the shelves with the stuff, the press swarms to report on it and they all point to the aforementioned study. We buy the hype and clamber to chow down on walnuts, coconuts, acai berries, dirt or whatever we're supposed to eat. Then the trend passes and, oddly enough, nothing has changed. People aren't living any longer, athletes aren't breaking records. Sure, these are good foods, but they didn't live up to expectation.

And I'm about to show you why.

Check out this study from the University of Exeter claiming that beetroot (that's British for beet) juice boosts athletic performance:

The research team conducted their study with eight men aged between 19 and 38. They were given 500ml per day of organic beetroot juice for six consecutive days before completing a series of tests, involving cycling on an exercise bike. On another occasion, they were given a placebo of blackcurrant cordial for six consecutive days before completing the same cycling tests.

After drinking beetroot juice the group was able to cycle for an average of 11.25 minutes, which is 92 seconds longer than when they were given the placebo. This would translate into an approximate 2% reduction in the time taken to cover a set distance. The group that had consumed the beetroot juice also had lower resting blood pressure.

For the record, cordial is a British sweet syrup akin to Kool-Aid. Here's what the scientist's got out of this study:

Corresponding author of the study, Professor Andy Jones of the University of Exeter's School of Sport and Health Sciences, said: "Our study is the first to show that nitrate-rich food can increase exercise endurance. We were amazed by the effects of beetroot juice on oxygen uptake because these effects cannot be achieved by any other known means, including training."

Okay, so that's cool. There's something interesting about nitrate-rich foods that warrants further investigation. But here's the problem; The above paragraph is way deep in the press release. However, in the second paragraph, you'll find this "reimagining" of the above comment:

The study reveals that drinking beetroot juice reduces oxygen uptake to an extent that cannot be achieved by any other known means, including training.

Um, excuse me Mr. or Ms. Press Release Writer, that's not what Andy said. He was referring to nitrate-rich food in general and even that's a bit wobbly, given there was no "training only" control group to test against.

For this bogus beetroot claim to be valid, the study would have had to stack it up against a variety of other nitrate-rich drinks, not just berry-flavored sugar water. But mark my words, that's not going to stop enterprising beet-squeezers from filling jars with the stuff and marketting it as the sports nutrition drink of the new millinium. And everyone will point to this study.

Oh, I'm pissed off now. Someone get down to my office, stat. I need to burn off some of this rage with a good armwrestling bout. I've had my glass of beet juice today, so I'm sure to kick your butt.