Drinking and Thriving

In a study that would make Hemingway proud, researchers out of the University of Miami have reviewed government health survey data to discover that boozers tend to exercise more than teetotalers.

From Reuters:

Compared with abstainers, those considered heavy drinkers -- at least 46 drinks in the past month for women, and 76 or more for men -- exercised for an average of 20 minutes more per week.

Meanwhile, moderate drinkers -- which included women who had 15 to 45 drinks in a month, and men who had 30 to 75 -- got 10 extra minutes of exercise each week.

Both moderate and heavy drinkers were also more likely to report vigorous exercise, like jogging, than either light drinkers or abstainers, the researchers report in the American Journal of Health Promotion.

The report then goes on to offer a few theories as to why this is, including the idea that "heavy drinking might be part of a 'sensation-seeking' lifestyle for some people."

I suggest one additional possible explanation. Perhaps the kind of people who exaggerate how bad-ass they are at their chosen fitness activity are often the same kind of people who overstate how much they can drink. In other words, the health survey happened upon a bunch of lying braggarts.

I propose a more accurate study in which we visit popular bars in sport-hub towns, like Moab, Utah and San Clemente, California. We host a two-part evening consisting of arm-wrestling followed by tequila shots into unconsciousness. I think this method would render far more dependable results.

Well, it would be more fun than reading lame government survey data, at least. Who's with me?