Grizzly Adams never sat. Ever.

According to the headline of this Men's Health article, "Why your desk job is slowly killing you," we all get one step closer to the grave every time we sit down to write an email.

New evidence suggests, in fact, that the more hours a day you sit, the greater your likelihood of dying an earlier death regardless of how much you exercise or how lean you are. That's right: Even a sculpted six-pack can't protect you from your chair.

But it's not just your heart that's at risk from too much sitting; your hips, spine, and shoulders could also suffer. In fact, it's not a leap to say that a chair-potato lifestyle can ruin you from head to toe.

In my opinion, this is slightly alarmist, which is odd considering Men's Health is such a bastion of cutting-edge journalism, especially if you're looking for rock-hard abs or 10 great ways to drive her wild in the bedroom. To wit:

A 2010 study in the Journal of Applied Physiology found that when healthy men limited their number of footsteps by 85 percent for 2 weeks, they experienced a 17 percent decrease in insulin sensitivity, raising their diabetes risk. "We've done a lot to keep people alive longer, but that doesn't mean we're healthier," says Hamilton.

Today's death rate is about 43 percent lower than it was in 1960, but back then, less than 1 percent of Americans had diabetes and only 13 percent were obese. Compare that with now, when 6 percent are diagnosed with diabetes and 35 percent are obese.

That first set of numbers isn't specifically about sitting. And that second paragraph seems to overlook the increasingly foul, HFCS-rich diet Americans have been eating since 1960. These paragraphs are convenient, incomplete logic. Nice try, though.

On the upside, this article mentions what I think might possibly be the coolest study in the history of science:

In a clever study, Dutch researchers created a sort of historical theme park and recruited actors to play 1850s Australian settlers for a week. The men did everything from chop wood to forage for food, and the scientists compared their activity levels with those of modern office workers. The result: The actors did the equivalent of walking 3 to 8 miles more a day than the deskbound men. That kind of activity is perhaps even more needed in today's fast-food nation than it was in the 1800s, but not just because it boosts calorie burn.

It seems like a lot of work to point out the obvious, but how rad is that? Why did the Dutch choose Australian settlers? Did they include all aspects of outback life, like crocodile attacks and cannibalism? I hope so! I think some big governing science body should require all studies be needless historical reenactments. If I had done this study, I would have made them all live like Grizzly Adams and hired Dan Haggerty as a consultant. If you're interested, Dan, give me a call. Let's do this.

Jocularity aside, this article makes a good case for getting off your butt more often than not if you have a desk job. The physiology of sitting section is pretty interesting.

"If you spend too much time in a chair, your glute muscles will actually 'forget' how to fire," says Hartman. This phenomenon is aptly nicknamed "gluteal amnesia." A basic-anatomy reminder: Your glutes, or butt muscles, are your body's largest muscle group. So if they aren't functioning properly, you won't be able to squat or deadlift as much weight, and you won't burn as much fat. After all, muscles burn calories. And that makes your glutes a powerful furnace for fat—a furnace that's probably been switched off if you spend most of the day on your duff.

It gets worse. Weak glutes as well as tight hip flexors cause your pelvis to tilt forward. This puts stress on your lumbar spine, resulting in lower-back pain. It also pushes your belly out, which gives you a protruding gut even if you don't have an ounce of fat. "The changes to your muscles and posture from sitting are so small that you won't notice them at first. But as you reach your 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond, they'll gradually become worse," says Hartman, "and a lot harder to fix."

Again, super scary sounding, but nothing that regular core work and maybe a little yoga won't help prevent.

Hidden among the doom and gloom are a few good pieces of advice that will, apparently, save you from certain death. Get up when you're talking on the phone. Stand and stretch every 20 minutes or so. Better yet, every office should be equipped with a wood-chopping station and instead of a kitchen, coffee and snacks should be hidden around the cubicles, as to promote foraging.

I have a friend in Human Resources. I'm going to get her feedback on this immediately.