Common Effing Sense

It's been tough lately being a Fitness Nerd. There's no shortage of fodder for me to write about; lots of new studies rolling down the pike. Only problem is, they're all stupid.

Wait.Let me clarify that. They're fine studies for what they are and I'm sure all the scientists involved are total Brainiacs. But both those points are moot when it comes to folks like you and me because we possess a quality that seems to be of increasing less import lately: Common effing sense.

Take for example, this recent spate of articles linking sugary drinks to weight gain. From WebMD:

The new research should inspire people to give up sugary drinks or consider them an occasional treat, says David Appel, MD. Appel is the director of the Montefiore Medical Center School Health Program and associate professor of clinical pediatrics at Albert Einstein College of Medicine. 

"These three studies give very clear evidence that drinking sweetened beverages even in modest amounts clearly results in increased weight and excess weight," he says.

According to WebMD, one of these studies indicates that those genetically predisposed to obesity are especially at risk when consuming sugary drinks. Frankly, duh. Last I checked, those genetically predisposed to obesity are especially at risk when consuming most things, particularly when sugar is involved.

While a quick breeze through Nutrition 101 back up these studies, it also renders them pointless. Here are the facts:

1. Carbs give us energy. 
2. When we consume too many of them, they are stored as fat. 
3. Fiber slows the absorption of carbs. 
4. Consuming carbs without fiber (as you do with juice and soda) causes them to soak into your system super fast, thus emptying out of your stomach faster, making room for more food. 

So, if you hydrate with fiberless, sugar-filled sodas and juices instead of water, you absorb those calories super fast and that means you have room in your stomach for more food. Why did we need a bunch of studies to tell us that? It's common effing sense.

Then there are the easily distorted studies that cause good people to do bad things. For example, last week, yet another report came out claiming that chocolate reduces the risk of stroke in men. This is nothing new. Every year, some European scientist figures out yet another chocolate benefit. Here's another one showing that it might prevent heart disease. But there's a rub. These studies only apply to dark chocolate - and only in tiny amounts. The stroke study showed benefits at about 63 grams (2 ounces) a week. The heart disease one featured about 7 grams a day. For the record, a Hershey's Kiss is about 4.5 grams, but it's milk chocolate, which isn't as good given it's filled with added junk, particularly sugar.

And that's the problem. People read these chocolate studies and they dial up their intake, mistakingly thinking the universe has shifted into some weird Sleeper alternate reality where fudge and cigarettes are actually good for you. We all want this, but it's simply not going to happen, so move on to the next fantasy. Yes, aliens might land in your backyard and give you superpowers. Yes, you might be able to buy a jetpack in this decade. Yes, you might have a three-way tonight with Katy Perry and a tennis pro (I left that second one gender-free as a favor to my female readers), but a daily Snickers will never, ever be good for you. The cacao is good stuff, but all the sugar and miscellaneous junk that comes with it isn't.

And we all know that, if we think about it. It's just a question of common effing sense.